Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
