the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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