How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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