i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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