we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
