I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
