I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
