I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
