Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
