My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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