no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
