Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
someone owes me an orgasm
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize