i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
