Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
