yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
