he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
