I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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