I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
