i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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