Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
