Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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