i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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