I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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