I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
