This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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