ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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