I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
tell me about the fingering
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
