he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Randomize
