I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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