She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
