did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize