When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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