he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
