hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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