What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
