kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
