no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Couch. On fire.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
