Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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