before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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