My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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