can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
