this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
