3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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