he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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