How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
