Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
