I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
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