So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
