I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
