Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
