things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
