Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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