You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
