Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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