rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
