Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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