so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
