Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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