one two three fourrrrnication!
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
